"Even now I haven't finished sorting it out. Sometimes I forgive myself, other times I don't. In the ordinary hours of life I try not to dwell on it."(p. 128)
in "Ambush", too, O'Brien uses a definite flashback. only in this flashback, he focuses more on his own thoughts and less on the physical aspects. he focuses less on the man he killed and more on the situation. the war, this event, caused him more confusion and made things even more difficult to sort out. he wonders from time to time what would have happened, but still there's no "rewind". the "comforting" words of Kiley (basically, "he'd've been killed anyway") are no consolation for O'Brien, a man who seems to want to be able to tell his daughter that he's never killed anyone.
he seems to rationalize in this flashback. there's more "well, I just wanted to scare him off" and even a "he had warning" to try to justify what happened. this all, of course is absolutely human, but in order to fully forgive himself, he knows he'll have to fully accept whatever did happen on that trail outside My Khe.
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